Sellers remorse

Have you ever sold anything and then wished you had not? Sellers remorse. It's a bitter pill.

I sent a painting off to a gallery months ago and, as they hung it on the wall, I realised that I desperately regretted that decision. There have been many paintings that I have hung in my own home for months before I was ready to sell them. This was not one of them. This was a special painting( to me) and I had barely even enjoyed it before it was gone. But it was a done deal and I am a professional, so I cannot go back on my word.

Imagine my delight as I delivered new work to the gallery today and saw it still on the wall . UNSOLD ! Never  had I been so delighted to see something unsold!
I veritable snatched it back and it was in my car before the lovely gallery owner could change her mind either!

hehe! All Mine!

second from the right

edge of the burn
oil on board
600 x 1200mm

I painted this from the sketches I made from the plane window as I flew from Cape Town to Johannesburg. This is my last sight of Africa before I usually climb on a plane bound for Australia .The domestic flights travel low enough for me to recognise landmarks, appreciate the landscape and give me a last. glorious view of this continent before I hit the green of New Zealand again. I scribbled furiously for the whole two hours, trying to record on paper (and iPad) the landscape I was flying over and leaving.

Now, it's back on my wall and I love it.

Some paintings and a sexy onion.

Wednesday:

Today was an enforced studio day because the gas man, Pete, was coming to install the new gas hot-water to my bathroom. I have resorted to thisnew addition  because my previously shower-intolerant eldest son has developed a 20min-shower-habit. He is also indulging his habit twice a day and, unnervingly, just before I want  shower. The winter of 2015 has seen more than it's fair share of adults swearing blue( same colour as their lips) after having to endure a cold shower because Master Buffed -and- Polished has used all the hot water. Little......(rhymes with sucker).

Anyhow, as we run on rainwater, I was not even going to entertain the thought of gas for all ( he would never, ever extract himself from the bliss  ) so , Charles and I have a lovely system all to ourselves. Ha!

I am way too excited for what is such a mundane addition, but quality of life is important and hot showers and baths are quality stuff.

Anyways, this is some of today's work.

The Desert road with a blue car
Oil on canvas
30 x 30 cm

I have lost a lot of lids.....

Prepping canvasses and boards

I like this start

The relaxed onion

I bought this book at the Hospice sale for the kings ransom of $2 and the Carol Boyes dish was a gift (from myself!) , bought in Cape Town. The onion was super -relaxed and decided to pose for me.
I tried to make it sit up and pay attention, but it was having none of that and slid , seductively, onto one onion hip and posed like this. All by itself. The garlic called it a bad name, so I had to separate them. Garlic is jealous because her breath smells and she has a big bottom.

Milestones.

Background: I wrote this 2 weeks ago but did not post it.


My mom started her chemotherapy yesterday. 6 cycles : 1 down, 5 to go.

Breaking big tasks into small, achievable milestones is the only way I can approach them without throwing in the towel on the first stumble. Sometimes I break things down by time,( get it done by friday)  sometimes by milestone ( once the first thing is achieved, you tick it off and only then move on. I also reward myself( yes, you may have a new toy). Then back to the drawing board, both figuratively and literally.

I have a wall of Milestone paintings. The ones where I got it right , my heart swelled, and I was totally fulfilled at that moment. I keep them all on one wall and they chronicle my self belief and mark my path to date.

So, for every chemo session my mother endures, I paint with an open heart, a focussed mind and a determination to mark the progress with a good thing, a thing of wonder and joy. It keeps the bad thoughts at bay and offers up a promise that for every bad thing, I try add a good thing.

But it's hard to stay focus with that dark thing lurking around the edges.

But , to add a little brevity into the situation, this also played in my head.