11 January, 2013

Posed Pilchard

Omega 3 fatty acids. This is what a good mum  should feed her kids, Omega 3 Fatty acids, in the form of oily fish, to promote healthy brain growth and development  . I opened a tin of these little buggers, show the kids their intended new lunch and the wailing, moaning and protestations at the perceived torture was worthy of an Oscar or two. Move over Meryl Streep. You would think I had offered them rancid entrail with a garnish of dog turd. The ability to gag on demand is well worth documenting on the eldest boy's CV.

I was going to eat them myself but all the gagging and wailing put me off. The dog and cat thought they were fabulous. They have moved up the list of favourite dependants for the moment.

So, I painted the pilchards  instead. I love how they are presented all laid out in precise rows, head to tail sometimes, but this time,overlapping.

Of course, they were dull grey and squishy(gag-worthy, really) so I jazzed them up a little, pretended they were fresh from whatever Portuguese fish market I was shopping from in the verdant fields of my imagination( where I am fabulously groomed and gorgeous, have a string of admirers who shower me lavishly with compliments, have children who play quietly with lego and abhor noise, am a gracious and relaxed hostess who throws parties that rock..you get the picture. It's an awesome place).

No wonder their eyes are so big! They've never heard such rot in all their lives !

Posed Pilchards
60 x 45 cm
oil on canvas
The heat and turps are clearly getting to me.


  1. Oh we can do gagging on request here too...and I have decided chocolate cake for breakfast and a diet of manufactured mush is better than omega 3 for a mother's brain! Love the posed pilchards...probably even more because I cant smell them!! :D

  2. Idiot self removed a very funny comment......but it went like this:

    We were given daily doses of Cod Liver Oil, which clearly did not work.
    I like your jazzed up pilchards.
    I like to jazz them up too, mashed with tomato sauce and chopped onion on toast
    and I'd like to come to one of your parties and watch your cat and dog play Lego

    See, too funny not to post......now I have that image of the cat and dog playing lego in my head! Awsome! Thank you!


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